Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Brian Tracy CD 2....

The second CD is concerned with understanding the self-concept. So many of the points raised ring true for me and I can see clear examples of them in my own life. I am going to try so hard to incorporate these concepts into my little man's life because self-concept is pivotal in people being able to reach their full potential (and parents have a massive, massive impact on this). Interesting points from CD 2:

  • It is impossible to give children too much love in the formative years (especially age 1-5).
  • Fear of failure is the single greatest obstacle to success in the adult life. 
  • Fear of rejection manifests itself in adult life with a preoccupation  with what other people think eg. always asking yourself "What will they think?" or "How will they react?". This is brought about by not receiving unconditional love from parents. The negative behaviour pattern demonstrated here is that the person is driven to perform but is afraid to try things. 
  • Destructive criticism is the cause of negative comment patterns. Destructive criticism coming from someone having prestige to the child invariably lowers the self-esteem of the child. 
The law of concentration: Whatever you dwell upon, grows in your experience. Whatever you think about on a continuing basis becomes a part of you. You do become what you think about. 

The law of substitution: The conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time (either positive or negative). Therefore we can deliberately substitute a positive thought for a negative one. Keep your conscious mind focused on who you want to become and where you want to go and that becomes the reality in your life. 

  • We are 100% totally responsible for every aspect of our lives.
  • Continuous excuses is one of the critical factors holding us back from reaching our full potential. 
  • The acceptance of total responsibility, without excuses is one of the hallmarks of the peak performing, high achieving human being. 
For a child to feel truly loved, the following must occur:
1. Parents love themselves: A parent cannot love a child any more than he or she loves themselves.
2. Parents love each other: Children who do not grow up in an environment where their parents love each other do not fully understand what it is to be part of an adult loving relationship.
3. Parents must love the child: In order to love another person, you have to spend a lot of time with that person. You cannot convey to your children that you love them unless you spend long periods of time with them. 

Guilt: Is the major psychological problem of the 20th century. It is the cause of more insecurity, negative feelings and ruined personalities than anything else. 
  • Guilt is used as punishment and for control. People who grow up feeling guilty have certain adult manifestations of guilt eg. they feel they are inferior, inadequate and undeserving of good things; they engage in destructive self criticism and criticism of others; they are easily manipulated by guilt; they use guilt and blame on others continuously; they use 'victim language'.
  • 'Victim language': 'I can't, I have to, I'm sorry, I wish, It wasn't my fault.....". When you say 'I wish', it really means 'but I know I can't'. We are predisposing ourselves for failure. Saying 'I'll try' is excusing failure in advance. Just say "I'll do it or I won't do it".
4 step plan for releasing guilt:
1. Eliminate self destructive criticism (don't allow anyone else to say anything either).
2. Refuse to be manipulated by guilt.
3. Refuse to use guilt or blaming with anyone.
4. Forgive others (this is the hallmark of a truly healthy personality). 

Accepting responsibility = looking towards the future.
Blaming = looking backwards.

I know I have included a heap of information here but I think it is so important to remind ourselves of these things. Many people will argue that these concepts are so simple or are common sense. And they are. But why then do so many of us not incorporate them into our lives or our relationships with others? Food for thought.....

1 comment:

  1. Wow, I love this. I absolutely love this post and it resonates with me so much. Thank you for sharing this. Cinda mentioned you were covering this on your blog---amazing stuff.

    hugs and support :)