Tuesday, December 14, 2010

If your heart had a voice, what would it say?

This is a question I came across in an article on Alison Miller's blog, Live Inspired. The crux of the article was that the vast majority of us do not give our hearts the attention they deserve, in the sense that we don't listen to them. In Eastern philosophy the heart is a storehouse of intelligence and insight, yet the heart is usually dismissed as being 'emotional' and we listen to our minds for guidance instead. The problem with this is that listening to the mind generally leads us to feeling scattered and confused - something I am present to more and more in my own life. More and more I am feeling the need for stillness, clarity and peace in order to really understand myself and to make decisions in my life that reflect who I want to be and how I want to live. But because I am still deferring to my mind instead of taking the time to listen to my heart, I cannot find the clarity, peace or stillness I seek.

If I know what I need to do, and know what is not working for me, then why do I continue to tread the same path you ask? (Just as I ask myself.....). Well, probably because listening to your heart requires one to be still. To meditate. To slow down and shut out all the other noise that is going on 24/7 in your head - and that is the challenge at hand for me. I would also hazard to guess that there is a part of me that doesn't want to face what my heart is actually saying.... that I'm scared to hear it and deal with the possible pain and emotion that will come along with it. Having said this, I am committed to going there because I know I won't be able to move forward and live a life I love until I can be open to being loved. Yes, that is my answer to the question at the start of this post. I have been still long enough in the past few weeks to hear that my heart has been saying for the past 26 odd years "I can't be loved. I'm different. No-one would love me unconditionally. In order to be loved or to receive love I need to give up something, to lose myself." I am currently working on how to change this belief because I want to be open to being loved and to experience being loved for exactly who I am, without the fear of losing myself in the process. I want the voice of my heart to speak excitedly, openly and freely. And so from this night onwards I am committing to making time each night before I go to sleep to sit quietly so that I can hear the gentle promptings and feel the intuitive feelings of my heart - to hear the voice of my heart and to be open to being loved.......

Friday, December 10, 2010

"We must be willing to get rid of
the life we've planned, so as to have
the life that is waiting for us".

Joseph Campbell

Dare To Be.....

When a new day begins, dare to smile gratefully.
When there is darkness, dare to be the first to shine a light.
When there is injustice, dare to be the first to condemn it.
When something seems difficult, dare to do it anyway.
When life seems to beat you down, dare to fight back.
When there seems to be no hope, dare to find some.
When you're feeling tired, dare to keep going.
When times are tough, dare to be tougher.
When love hurts you, dare to love again.
When someone is hurting, dare to help them heal.
When another is lost, dare to help them find the way.
When a friend falls, dare to be the first to extend a hand.
When you cross paths with another, dare to make them smile.
When you feel great, dare to help someone else feel great too.
When the day has ended, dare to feel as though you've done your best.
Dare to be the best you can-
At all times, Dare to be!

Thursday, December 2, 2010

And so it begins.....

This week really does mark the beginning of the rest of my life and my new journey. Amazingly, all the things I have been waiting for 7 months for and that have been draining my energy have happened or moved forward and I can finally step into 'my life'. Tomorrow I will no longer be the joint holder of a mortgage and will be financially independent. On Monday this week I went to look at the first apartment I considered renting, loved it and was offered it that night (anyone who has had any experience with the Sydney rental market will know that this is virtually unheard of). As of next Saturday I will move into the apartment which will be the first place ever in my life that has been just my home. I thought I might be hesitant or sad when it all finally came, but what i'm actually feeling is excitement. The excitement of being able to make decisions on my own, to not have to consider another person (apart from my little man of course) and to create my life as I choose. Bring it on!

Missing My Little Man....

I dropped my Little Man at daycare this morning and won't see him again until Sunday morning. Some weeks I'm an exhausted Mum who welcomes the little bit of time to myself but this week I miss him to pieces already (Its only been 6 hours). I just want to drive to daycare and pick him up and listen to all the new things he says and laugh at how cute he is and kiss his little cheeks. Oh and that little voice saying "I love you mummy", before he goes to sleep - that is what I miss the most.