Thursday, July 16, 2009

Brian Tracy - Part 6.....

  • Every single part of our self image and self esteem is tied up and expressed in the quality of our relationships with others. 
  • Over 80% of the satisfaction and joy we achieve as human beings comes from our interactions with others. Therefore, if we can increase our ability to get along with others we can increase our satisfaction with life.
The Law of Indirect Effort:
In our activities with other people we get almost everything that we want and desire in an indirect rather than direct way. 
  • Happiness is not a destination. 
  • A person will only truly feel happy when they are engaged in activities that give them a sense of personal growth and achievement. 
  • Unhappy people are doing things every day which are lacking in purpose, meaning and relevance. 
  • We never achieve happiness by going out and trying to get it directly. 
A Healthy Personality:
  • An individual has a healthy personality to the exact degree that they have the propensity to look for the good in every situation. 
  • An individual has a healthy personality to the exact degree to which the can get along with the greatest number of different types of people. 
What can we do on a day to day basis to improve the quality of our relationships with others?
  • Raise the self esteem of others. We cannot do anything to raise the self esteem of people without simultaneously raising our own to the same degree.
  • Spend your time making others feel good and valuable about themselves and you will automatically feel good about yourself and value yourself.
How do we ensure that we have superior human relations?


Acceptance: Total and unconditional, with no judgement. Do this by smiling at people.
Approval: Praise people. Praise a specific act or actions that you want to see repeated. Praise immediately.
Appreciation: Express gratitude by saying 'Thank you'.
Admiration: Admire character traits and possessions. (Never criticise).
Attention: Listen. This conveys to a person that you value them.

  • Anything we say directly or indirectly about another person will come back to you with double force.
  • Start with your family, friends and work colleagues.
  • The kindest and most generous thing that partners can do for one another is to always expect the other to be successful; to continuously tell the other person that you believe in them, that you trust in them and encourage them to go for their goals. This is the kindest, most generous and fruitful thing that you can do for your partner. 
The role of parents:
  • Is to nurture high self esteem.
  • If your child comes out of their teenage years with high self esteem, you have been a successful parent.
Tell your kids you love them by:
  • Making your love unconditional (this is the most precious gift. Kids need to be loved even when they are the most exasperating).
  • Giving physical contact (hugging and kissing).
  • Giving eye contact and smile at them (kids fill up their emotional tanks with love filled eye contact).
  • Giving them focused attention (Uninterrupted, quality time). 

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