Postnatal depression - confronting times....

One of the hardest things to come to terms with when I had postnatal depression was the fact that help and support did not come from the people I expected it to come from the most. I know that lack of understanding and people's own personal situations contributed to that and to a certain extent that can't be helped. But when you are in the deepest darkest situation you have ever been in, it is very confronting to find that at the end of the day you can only rely on yourself. But what do you do when yourself can no longer be relied upon and you are at the point where you truly believe that the only solution for everyone is for you to not exist anymore? That may sound melodramatic to some people but it is reality for many women with postnatal depression (and indeed anyone suffering from depression). This is why I am so lucky that my husband didn't give up on me even though he must have been wondering how much longer he could deal with the situation. At the time he was the only person who came close to understanding what I was going through, who realised how serious the situation was and who didn't give up until we got help. In hindsight I can look back and thank my lucky stars that I didn't give up or cease to exist when I really wanted to, as I would have missed out on so much. But I am so conscious of the many, many women who are not thrown that lifeline at the last minute when they need it the most. And that is why I am so passionate about doing everything I can to make a difference for mothers, families and little babies who are affected by postnatal depression.

As devastating as it was at the time to deal with the lack of support, a  positive came from that situation. In being forced to seek support from new sources in my life, I have learnt so much about life and myself. I now have some amazing new relationships with people such as neighbours and family members I hadn't previously been as close to. My life, my husbands life and the life of my son is now so much richer and for that I am truly grateful.