Sunday, March 21, 2010

Chocolate or Vanilla? Choose.....

"Chocolate or Vanilla? Choose. Chocolate or Vanilla? Choose. Chocolate or Vanilla? Choose". Sounds strange, doesn't it? For anyone who has done Landmark Education, this one will be familiar to you. For anyone who hasn't, the premise behind this is simple. At any given time, at any given moment, in any given situation, we have a choice. Its like when we are choosing ice-cream. Options could be chocolate or vanilla, and we have a choice. Quite straight forward in theory but this one is still proving to be a huge challenge for me. Being able to live this concept authentically requires you to commit to who you want to be in life and remain true to that no matter what comes your way. And it means being that person in all areas of your life - not just the ones where that might be a little easier to do than others.

I absolutely agree and can see that choosing to live your life from this place can have such a positive effect. It grounds you, allows you to stand tall and strong in the face of adversity and to inspire others. Agreeing and doing , however, are two very different things and I've been getting very frustrated lately by the fact that I haven't been able to implement this in my life, particularly in my relationship with my husband and my relationship with myself. I've come to the realisation that its because I haven't fully committed to who I am going to be. I know what I want my relationship and family life to look like but I've been struggling to actually live it every day. Why? A myriad of reasons probably. Home is where you drop your guard and often release all the crap from the outside world. Home is where you can rant and rave and fall apart. Home is where people can push your buttons the most and you often do the same to others. Home is where you get away with being someone you would probably never get away with being anywhere else. I place enormous expectations on myself. Why is it so hard to choose to be a certain person and stick to it? Because you are taking a leap of faith. You are vulnerable. You have to give up the game of right and wrong that most of us have been accustomed to playing all our lives. You can no longer rely on the voices in your head that support your old ways (you know the ones that let you get away with being anything but great and that don't really serve you any good purpose). You have to work harder to be conscious and present each moment, to a new way of thinking.

But I've reached a point where I can keep running away from making the commitment and continue to live a life that is becoming increasingly unsatisfying, exhausting and less than great; or I can take the road that will be hard work along the way but will ultimately be far more satisfying, fulfilling and great. Mmmmm, not such a hard choice when you look at it that way is it?

Choosing to live in this way will not and does not guarantee that everything in life turns out the way you plan. No-one can remain true to this every second of every day (although we can try). There will be days or weeks where you drop the ball but the key to remember is, thats ok. You can let it go and start again because you have a foundation to come back to. If I strive to be the best person I can be in every moment, in the face of everything that comes my way, I will be ok and I will make it through anything.

So from this moment on, I am choosing to be the possibility of unconditional love and inspiration. I'm putting this out to you and the universe because I need everyone to hold me accountable to this and remind me when I start to slip. If my journey can help anyone else along the way, then that would be great too.

P.S. Thank you to Alexie for being the first person to hold me accountable and for being my sounding board to even get to this point. Much love to you. X

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