Brian Tracy CD 2....

The second CD is concerned with understanding the self-concept. So many of the points raised ring true for me and I can see clear examples of them in my own life. I am going to try so hard to incorporate these concepts into my little man's life because self-concept is pivotal in people being able to reach their full potential (and parents have a massive, massive impact on this). Interesting points from CD 2:

• It is impossible to give children too much love in the formative years (especially age 1-5).
• Fear of failure is the single greatest obstacle to success in the adult life. 
• Fear of rejection manifests itself in adult life with a preoccupation  with what other people think eg. always asking yourself "What will they think?" or "How will they react?". This is brought about by not receiving unconditional love from parents. The negative behaviour pattern demonstrated here is that the person is driven to perform but is afraid to try things. 
• Destructive criticism is the cause of negative comment patterns. Destructive criticism coming from someone having prestige to the child invariably lowers the self-esteem of the child. 

The law of concentration: Whatever you dwell upon, grows in your experience. Whatever you think about on a continuing basis becomes a part of you. You do become what you think about. 

The law of substitution: The conscious mind can only hold one thought at a time (either positive or negative). Therefore we can deliberately substitute a positive thought for a negative one. Keep your conscious mind focused on who you want to become and where you want to go and that becomes the reality in your life. 

• We are 100% totally responsible for every aspect of our lives.
• Continuous excuses is one of the critical factors holding us back from reaching our full potential. 
• The acceptance of total responsibility, without excuses is one of the hallmarks of the peak performing, high achieving human being. 

For a child to feel truly loved, the following must occur:

1. Parents love themselves: A parent cannot love a child any more than he or she loves themselves.

2. Parents love each other: Children who do not grow up in an environment where their parents love each other do not fully understand what it is to be part of an adult loving relationship.

3. Parents must love the child: In order to love another person, you have to spend a lot of time with that person. You cannot convey to your children that you love them unless you spend long periods of time with them. 

Guilt: Is the major psychological problem of the 20th century. It is the cause of more insecurity, negative feelings and ruined personalities than anything else. 

• Guilt is used as punishment and for control. People who grow up feeling guilty have certain adult manifestations of guilt eg. they feel they are inferior, inadequate and undeserving of good things; they engage in destructive self criticism and criticism of others; they are easily manipulated by guilt; they use guilt and blame on others continuously; they use 'victim language'.
• 'Victim language': 'I can't, I have to, I'm sorry, I wish, It wasn't my fault.....". When you say 'I wish', it really means 'but I know I can't'. We are predisposing ourselves for failure. Saying 'I'll try' is excusing failure in advance. Just say "I'll do it or I won't do it".

4 step plan for releasing guilt:

1. Eliminate self destructive criticism (don't allow anyone else to say anything either).

2. Refuse to be manipulated by guilt.

3. Refuse to use guilt or blaming with anyone.

4. Forgive others (this is the hallmark of a truly healthy personality). 

Accepting responsibility = looking towards the future.

Blaming = looking backwards.

I know I have included a heap of information here but I think it is so important to remind ourselves of these things. Many people will argue that these concepts are so simple or are common sense. And they are. But why then do so many of us not incorporate them into our lives or our relationships with others? Food for thought.....

Precious.....

Here is my little man's hand in my grandmother's (his great-grandmother's) hand. This photo was taken by a good friend of mine the other week (Nadia, gorgeous shot). I will treasure it forever. To me it represents all the knowledge, wisdom, experience, joy, laughter and a lifetime of memories being passed on to the newest family member. My nan is unquestionably the centre of our family and her hands are the hands that hold all of us together in so many ways. I am so grateful that my little man can spend time with this wonderful, wonderful woman. 

Tomorrow is another day....

I had a pretty crappy weekend this weekend. I was sick (again) and could not do much more than sleep for most of the time. Yesterday, in particular, I felt lower than I have felt in a long while. I can't really pinpoint what caused it but it highlights the way those depressed feelings and thoughts can just creep up on you and before you know it, you are having to dig your way out of a hole again. Its a timely reminder to me though that I have to slow down every now and then and that I just need to ask for help when I need it. Many of us don't do this in life but its a huge lesson I have learned. There is no shame in asking for help - at the end of the day its a much smarter thing to do than wind up in a heap. 

Thankfully, the old adage "tomorrow is another day" applies to me today, and I am feeling far more upbeat than I was. Some great things that happened today were:

1. One of the students in my homeroom made the PE department a cake today. So sweet! (And yummy).

2. Finally talking to one of my very good friends who had a baby 9 weeks ago. She seems to be coping well and enjoying it all which makes me very happy.

3. Having the courage to post a video for my Unravelling course. (The old Bel would never have done that but the new Bel thought 'why not?'.

4. My husband's joy at coaching a girl with cerebral palsy in shot put this afternoon.

5. My husband giving a meat pie to a man on the street today (Love those random acts of kindness). 

6. Everything about my little man!

I hope you all had a wonderful day and if you didn't, remember, "tomorrow is another day".

10 (ok 11,) things that make my heart happy.....

Imagination by Trubbleshots (via flickr)

I got the girls in my homeroom to do this activity the other day and they loved it (there is often so much focus on negativity and stress at school, that I wanted the girls to be reminded of what they love and the importance of finding joy in the simple things). Once I got going I found it so hard to limit it to just 10, but I will try my best:

1. My son falling asleep in my arms (and his gorgeous little laugh).
2. My husbands crazy antics.
3. A pile of books just waiting to be read.
4. My Real Living magazine subscription arriving in the mail.
5. A good cheeseburger, fries and chocolate thickshake.
6. My Peter Alexander pyjama pants (I could wear them all day).
7. Hotel breakfasts
8. Smarties (coloured little chocolate beanies kind of like Reece's Pieces).
9. The smell of jasmine.
10. Hearing my sister sing.
11. My brown boots from Barneys New York (I know I've gone over the limit but I couldn't leave these out!)

Mmmmm, I'm a bit disturbed by the number of references to food. Oh well, you only live once! 

Brian Tracy - Part 1....

As part of my training for lululemon, I have been given 6 CD's by Brian Tracy that I need to listen to (Brian Tracy is a guru in the self-improvement and personal development world). Lululemon have actually bought the rites to these CD's but encourage us to share what is on them, make copies for ourselves etc (all part of their vision to make the world a better place). So I thought that each time I listen to a CD I would post some of the main points or concepts that appealed to me as some of you might also find them interesting and/or helpful.

Here are the insights from CD 1:

Success =

1. Peace of mind (freedom from fear, anger and guilt).

2. High levels of health and energy.

3. Loving relationships.

4. Financial freedom (having enough money so as not to have to worry about money).

5. Worthy goals and ideals.

6. Personal fulfillment (reaching your full potential or self actualisation).

Tracy proposes that there are a number of laws in the universe:

1. The law of control: We feel good about ourselves to the exact extent that we feel in control of our own lives. (This also works in reverse).

2. The law of cause and effect: For every effect there is a specific cause. There is no such thing as an accident. Our thoughts are the causes and conditions are the effects.

3. The law of belief: Whatever you believe with feeling, becomes your reality. Self limiting beliefs become true. BUT they are not based on reality.

4. The law of expectations: Whatever we expect with confidence becomes our own self-fulfilling prophecy. (Therefore, we should always expect the best of ourselves). Successful people continue to look forward to good things happening for them. 

5. The law of attraction: We attract into our lives the people and circumstances that harmonise with our dominant thoughts. If we want this to be different we must change the content of our conscious minds. We become what we think about.

• Our beliefs are based on our self concept. The average person uses less than 1 or 2% of their full potential. To raise the amount of potential used, we must increase the height of our self concept. 
  
• How much you like yourself determines how well you perform in every area of your life.
• It is impossible to love anyone else more than we like, respect or love ourselves. It is impossible to expect anyone else to like or love us more than we like and respect ourselves.

Some very interesting food for thought here. The concept put forward which resonates with me the most at this time is the law of attraction. I have seen this at work in my own life so clearly in the past 10 months or so. I believe in this idea so much that I wear a pendant around my neck every day with the quote "What we think, we become" inscribed on it. I would love to hear what some of your thoughts are on these concepts (feel free to leave me a comment!).

I still can't believe that I have found a place to work where this is the training and focus of each day. I am very, very blessed indeed...... 

5 questions....

Susannah over at ink on my fingers sent me these random 5 questions to answer. So here goes: 

First song you ever bought?

I can't remember exactly which song was the first one I ever bought myself, but I can remember my twin sister being given Michael Jackson's "Off the Wall" (on vinyl of course) when we were very small.

Do you wear a signature scent?

At the moment my signature scent is 'Daisy' by Marc Jacobs.

Finish the sentence, and expand on it: I've always wanted to....

....help others and make a difference in the world. I think that is what compelled me to become a teacher and what is compelling me to continue to choose a path in life that involves inspiring others. I want to be able to look back on my life and say that it has been one of significance and that I have made the world a better place in some way. 

London, Paris or Rome?

A tough one. I want to say Rome because I've been to London and Paris before. But even still, I find myself saying Paris because I just love the romance of it and would love the chance to go back now that I am older and could appreciate it more. (Plus every time I watch the final episodes of Sex and The City it makes me want to go there and wear fabulous dresses like SJP....).

What compels you to keep a blog?

I started my blog to document my 'new journey' in life after suffering post natal depression last year. I want to inspire others to find their true selves, to enjoy the simple things in life and to live each moment to the full. What compels me to keep my blog now that I have started one, is the amazing feedback I am getting from people who have been inspired by my story and outlook. It also gives me a place to express my creativity and show the 'real me' which is a priority in my life. 

Thanks Susannah! X

To My Lovely Husband....

I have been thinking a lot lately about my husband and our relationship (I'm sure anyone else out there with a little one/s will agree with me when I say that having two seconds to think of anything is a feat in itself....). Anyway, I was thinking that I have come such a long way in how I see myself and how I interact with others, but there are a few things that I want to say to my husband that I haven't been able to voice yet. So I'm going to do it now, while its clear in my mind: 

To My Lovely Husband, I know there must be a part of you that is thinking 'Gee, I've been trying to get her to adopt that attitude or see things in this way for years and years now'. And I wouldn't blame you for thinking that, because you're right - you have. Your ability to approach life in an optimistic and joyous way, to only ever see the good in others, your desire to help people, your kindness etc etc are the qualities that drew me to you in the first place. And I know it must have felt like you were beating your head against a brick wall at times. I hope you understand that it isn't that I thought you were wrong or that I purposely wasn't changing (even though my approach might have been letting me or us down). Its just that these are lessons I have had to learn in my own time and in my own way. But I do want to acknowledge that I have learnt so much from you and you have helped me in so many ways. Thank you for your support and for being the person that you are. X Bel