Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Letting the Kindness In....

I've been struggling of late with the need for some 'space of my own' and time to myself. So on Sunday night I decided to go to a Yin yoga class so that I could still my mind and have some time to myself. Often on Sunday night I would end up putting whatever needed to be done at home first but I committed to going and I'm glad I did. I had what you might call a 'breakdown' of sorts. Not a huge noticeable thing to anyone else but definitely something noticeable to me. While we were doing a certain pose the instructor (a lovely man who has taught some classes for me at lululemon) walked around the room and assisted people where it was needed. I'm not the most flexible of people so needless to say, when it came to frog pose I needed a little help. Anyway, he put his hand on my back to help me and next thing I knew I felt tears rolling down my face. This simple act of kindness and assistance may not have really registered for me much at all in the past. But on Sunday night it had such a huge impact on me. My husband and I are separating (this has been one of the huge changes I have been alluding to over the past weeks/months but I haven't really been able to write directly about it up until now). Its something that I know is the best thing for us and our little man but that doesn't make it any less hard. I've been trying to be really strong about it all and to keep myself together but this week I'm really feeling the weight of it all. I've been trying so hard to hold myself up but this really reminded me that I need to just be kind and compassionate with myself and it's ok to acknowledge that its hard.

4 comments:

  1. You said it so well. I really can't add any more, but just wanted to say that I read it, and I heard you.

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  2. This is such a lovely and honest post. I'm so sorry to hear you're going through such a challenging time. Breakups are horrible, even when you know they're necessary. So raw. Sending you extra kindness and compassion. Because yes, what you're going through is really hard.

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  4. I awoke this morning with the phrase "give love to get love" playing over and over in my head. I couldn't shake the phrase -- it's been playing in my head all day. I finally did an online search and found your blog. I'm glad I did.

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