Friday, April 24, 2009

A new journey.....

Well, today was officially my last day of maternity leave. I can't believe that 8 1/2 months have passed so quickly but at the same time I feel as though I have lived about 20 lifetimes in that period. I have mixed feelings about going back to work. I have been very fortunate to have spent this long with my little man and I feel quite sad that this time is over (even after a very challenging day with him today!). But I am ready to see where life is going to take me next. I could sit here and talk about how nervous I am about going back to work, how I'm worried that its no longer where my heart is etc etc. But the 'new Bel' is going to embrace the challenge and see if I can transfer my new found attitude to the one area of my life that I haven't had to tackle yet. Even though this line of work is not necessarily where I see myself remaining long term, I'm going to view it all with fresh eyes and take it day by day. I'm going to look for the good instead of dwell on the bad, because I firmly believe that what you put out there is what you get back. Its going to be my personal challenge to make a difference in the lives of as many people as I can in that environment and to be open to wherever life takes me from here.

Which brings me to the next topic I wanted to address tonight. For virtually my whole life I have felt the need to know where I was going, to play it safe, to do 'the right thing' and to try to keep everything under control. But what I have found is that approaching life in this way hasn't made me happy. It has actually left me feeling as though there is something missing. So last year I decided that I had nothing to lose and if the way I was living life wasn't making me happy then the only thing to do was the opposite of what I have always done (this sounds simple but its very hard to change 31 years of habits and ways of thinking). Anyway, I've really worked hard on this aspect of my life. Instead of wanting my life to be a predictable straight line I want it to be a winding river, full of twists and turns and ups and downs. In trying to predict and control everything in my life I wasn't actually 'living' and I was depriving myself of so much that life has to offer. Instead of avoiding challenging situations, I look for them and tackle them head on. Instead of saying 'no' to things that take me outside of my comfort zone, I say 'yes'. And guess what? I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER. The change in my life has been amazing. So I challenge everyone who reads this to change your way of thinking, even if it is just about one issue or aspect of your life. If there is an area of your life that you know you need to change or want to change, do it. Just the smallest of steps and changes can make a huge difference to your life. The following quote sums this up perfectly for me and in the past 6 months I have definitely found it to be true. It inspires me to stay on my new path and I hope it inspires you!

"One new perception,
one fresh thought,
one act of surrender,
one change of heart,
one leap of faith,
can change your life forever" 

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