Changes....

Big changes are afoot for me. I have been offered a job in a company that I believe is completely in tune with where I am in my life right now. To take this job means leaving the only career I have ever known and to take a leap into the great unknown. I have been and am very excited about this change, but tonight all those annoying little 'what ifs?' are creeping into my head. I know that I want this job, I know that I don't want to keep teaching, I know I want to spend more time with my little man, I feel like there is enormous potential for me to grow personally and professionally down the track. I know in my heart that this is the right place for me to go right now and everyone keeps telling me how great they think this step will be for me. But the only thing I can think of tonight is the fear of financial stresses. How will we pay for everything with me taking quite a substantial pay cut by working part-time? This is making me feel really crappy because all my positivity is deserting me right when I need it most. I want to enjoy this, not stress about it (as I have done with so many things in my life). I only hope that when it comes to the crunch I really do have the strength and courage to follow my heart and to trust that it will lead me in the right direction.......

Girls night out....

I am so lucky to live in an apartment building with some of the best neighbours ever. Many of us are couples around the same age, with two other couples having babies last year, just like us. This shared bond has ensured that we have become really close and it is so wonderful to have two other women to swap concerns with, to share good and bad stories with, to take walks around the park with and to have as a support network. As couples, we have had numerous 'building bbq's and tapas parties on the common rooftop' (very Secret Life of Us for all you Aussies), however, us girls have never been out on our own, minus children and husbands.

Until last night....We had such a good time, starting with drinks at a local pub, followed by dinner at a tapas restaurant and ending with cocktails at a nearby club. Despite being very tired this morning, I had a great night and am so glad we finally did this. I woke up this morning feeling very lucky indeed to have crossed paths with these gals and it is so lovely to think that our little ones will grow up together. If you are reading this girls, thanks a bunch and I look forward to our next 'outing'! X

A picture to warm your heart....

Image by Le fabuleux destin d'Amelie (via flickr)

Ball of confusion....

Messy, twisted, head hurts, exhausted....thats how I feel today. I HATE feeling this way. I know why this is happening but the hard part is breaking old habits. I need to stop wishing for things, worrying about what will be, needing to reach something etc. I need to JUST BE.... When I can achieve this state, I feel as though the weight of the world has been lifted from my shoulders. I just wish I was better at doing it! Here are two quotes to remind me (and everyone else!) to do exactly this:

"Go for long walks, indulge in hot baths, question your assumptions, be kind to yourself, live for the moment, loosen up, scream, curse the world, count your blessings, just let go, just be" (Carol Shields)

"The secret for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly" (Buddha)

Giving a gift....

As I have mentioned, I am a teacher. I am currently teaching one of my year groups about mental health, with the focus being on depression. We teach this unit of work every year and, regardless of my personal experience, I think it is such an important issue to address. It is predicted that mental illness and depression in particular, will become our largest health concern over the next decade. So it is vital that young people are educated about what mental illness is, where to get help, and how to promote positive mental health.

One of the hardest things to overcome is the stigma surrounding mental illness and the perception that it is something that affects "someone else". Initially when I started teaching this unit of work this time around, I wasn't going to share my personal story with my students. I figured that since my passion and understanding of the issue comes across well enough anyway, it wouldn't be necessary. But a little voice in the back of my head kept nagging at me telling me that if I didn't share my story with these students, I was failing in what I have proclaimed to be my new duty in life and I would miss a prime opportunity. (If I am completely honest the thing that was holding me back was the fear of being judged by the girls or have them think differently of me).

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I did share my story with the girls and I am so glad that I did. Yes it was nerve wracking and scary and yes, the girls were quite surprised to hear it. But very quickly it became quite clear that my exposing myself was in a sense a gift to them. At some stage down the track, they or someone close to them will experience a mental illness (a sad, but very real fact). And when that happens, hopefully my story will pop straight into their heads - and they will know that its ok to ask for help, that they are not alone in what is happening and that no matter how bad things may seem there is hope to get through it. The students were able to gain a much greater understanding of the issue by hearing about it from someone who has experienced it first hand. What was also a clear sign to me that I had done the right thing was when two students came up to me to talk about their own mothers' experience of post natal depression. I could sense the relief from them that they finally could speak to someone about it and that since I had also experienced the same thing, there wasn't something 'wrong' with their mothers. That to me was priceless........

Another one for the romantics....

The romantic, heart hurting ones must really be appealing to me tonight. Have also been listening to this a lot lately. The lyrics are so sad and sweet and Daniel has a great voice. Enjoy....

The Most Beautiful Song In The World.....

I was so excited to see that one of my all time favourite singers, Maxwell, is back in action after seven or so long years. If this is the first time you are hearing about him then you have been missing out and you absolutely HAVE to download his tunes. His version of Kate Bush's "This Woman's Work" is the most beautiful song in the world. No matter how many times I listen to this song, it always makes me cry (It makes my heart hurt but in a good way). I hope you love it as much as I do.