Sunday, May 22, 2011

Outwaiting Clouds.....

Quite a lot has happened in the last few weeks. I have been at a new job for 2 weeks now, working for a freight forwarding and logistics company. Completely new for me. The first job I've ever had where I can't wear tracksuit pants to work, where I sit at a desk for 8 hours a day and where I don't work weekends. I'm slowly getting used to this though and its nice for now to be in a routine that is more stable, particularly with the little man. I'm also playing hockey again (I can't believe its been 3 and 1/2 years since I last played). Feels great to run around again and push myself, as well as having laughs with the hockey gals.

The main purpose of this post was to share some words of wisdom from Mark Nepo. In particular, I want to dedicate them to my friend Alanna, who I had the pleasure of catching up with for dinner last week. I hadn't seen her in ages and she has been through some extraordinarily difficult times since I saw her last. I hope that in some small way our time together on Thursday night helped ease her burden a little and she felt my love and support. Whilst I don't know what it feels like to lose your mother, I do know what it feels like to lose someone close to you and what it feels like to go through periods in life where it seems everything has turned upside down and nothing feels 'right'. These words resonated with me and Alanna, I hope they comfort you in some way too....

Outwaiting Clouds

The bud in half bloom outwaits the clouds

Some days I wake with a cloud around my heart, and it dulls everything except the weight I carry deep inside. Yet, just because I can't make it to the light today doesn't mean that the light has vanished. In truth, the heart, like the Earth, is continually blanketed by ever-changing atmospheres that come and go between who we are and how we live our days.
So faith, it seems, can be defined as the effort to believe in light when we're covered by clouds, and though it feels like the sun will never come again, the truth is it has never stopped burning its light. In fact, its heat and warmth is burning steadily, right now, on the far side of whatever cloud we are under.
If we could only suspend our judgement when clouded in the heart. For many skepticisms are born from conclusions drawn while unable to see, as if any kind of understanding will prevent the clouds from coming or going, again and again.
But no cloud lasts forever. The Earth and all that grows from it knows this well. So does the heart and everything that grows from it, in spite of all our very understandable pains.

(Taken from "The Book of Awakening" by Mark Nepo)

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